


The Old Married Couple

by LiamLordofTrash



Category: Batman - All Media Types
Genre: Bickering, Broken Bones, Fluff, Healing, M/M, Penguins, Some Swearing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-14
Updated: 2019-03-14
Packaged: 2019-11-17 21:35:37
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,316
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18106925
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LiamLordofTrash/pseuds/LiamLordofTrash
Summary: Edward and Oswald have been together a long time, and since day one they never stopped arguing.An amalgamation of a lot of Batman things, kind of based on the Gotham universe but with an older Oswald and Edward. Light hearted bickering, they do still love each other. Kind of a sick fic





	The Old Married Couple

Oswald went about, trying to find every penguin and feed it. He found Gertrude, Chester, Francis, Honor, Fletcher, Otto, Penelope, Fleur, and Thea. Then he found.. Junior. Never in his life should Oswald have let Edward Nygma name one of his penguins. Of course, of course, that narcissist would name the baby penguin Edward Junior. When things had been going well with Edward it was fine, but of course Edward could never let anything go and he got aggressive and he yelled and now Oswald had to look down at little Edward Junior honking at him. Gertrude, the little chubster that she was tried to steal Edward Junior’s food as Oswald tried to feed him and he had to shoo her away.   
“Get out, Gertrude no!” Oswald snapped. She hissed and waddled away. Oswald rolled his eyes. Then there was a knocking at the door. He grumbled as he waddled to the door, moving as quickly as he could. He got to the door and opened it.  
“Oswald-” Edward began and Oswald shut the door. Oswald walked as best he could to the door and struggled a bit with the stairs. “Oswald!”   
“Go away Edward!”  
“Can we talk?!” Edward yelled.   
“No!” Then Oswald realized he hadn’t locked the door. But Edward hadn’t checked it. He started to walk down the stairs, not wanting to sound frantic and alert Edward, but also move quickly enough to stop him from getting in. Edward started to turn the door knob and Oswald started to run down the stairs, but tripped and fell down the rest of the stairs. He laid on the floor in pain as Edward came in. The penguins flocked around Edward, hissing, honking and biting.  
“Oh! Oswald are you alright?” Edward asked, running to his side.   
“I am fine.” Everything in his whole body hurt and he definitely could not get back up but he would not let Edward Nygma know that.   
“No you’re not,” Edward said.  
“I am-”  
“Then stand up.”  
“If you- if you magically knew that I wasn’t alright then why did you even ask?”  
“It’s polite.. And the normal conversational piece that goes there. Also I expected either ‘I’m fine Edward get out of my house’ or ‘take me to the hospital before I beat you’.”   
“Well I don’t need to go to the hospital-”  
“Then stand up-”  
“Why do you care?”   
“Because- Ow! Edward Junior how dare you bite me!”  
“I never should have let you name him-”  
“I’m not going to just let you get hurt because we had a fight and-” Edward tried to begin again.  
“Edward get out of my house!” snapped Oswald, trying to wiggle up. Edward moved and then Oswald tried to stand up. “Edward get back in my house!”  
“Hospital?”  
“Hospital!” Oswald yelled. 

He broke his foot. Of course he broke his foot. He glared at Edward, sitting on the couch. Edward was determined to make it right by ‘taking care of him’. Oswald rolled his eyes.   
“Okay, so do you want to sit around in your suit or pajamas?” Edward asked. Oswald glared.  
“Pajamas but I can’t get out of this suit.”   
“I’m going to help you Oswald that’s why I’m here.” Edward tried to help him upstairs. Edward at first tried to carry him, which failed. When they were younger he could have lifted Oswald, but Oswald really enjoyed food. He knew he has fat, but it wasn’t to the point that it affected his health too badly, and he also didn’t care. Edward grabbed Oswald’s leg and tried to hold it up while Oswald hopped up the stairs. Then Oswald almost fell back down the stairs. “You know, maybe I should go upstairs and get your clothes and you stay downstairs.”  
“No shit, Mr. Genius,” Oswald snarked.  
“I can still drop you,” Edward warned. Edward did not, however, instead helping Oswald back to the couch while he went upstairs. Then came Edward Junior. The little penguin stood by the foot of the couch and waddled closer, even with Oswald’s foot.   
“Edward Junior don’t you do it,” hissed Oswald. The penguin looked at his foot and then at Oswald. Then he jumped on Oswald’s foot. “Edward you little bastard!” Oswald yelled, sitting up.  
“What did I do?!” yelled Edward.  
“Not you! The penguin! Edward Junior just jumped on my broken foot.”   
“Edward Junior!” Edward scolded. “I did not raise you like that.” Oswald chuckled to himself. Edward came back downstairs. “Green pajamas,” Edward said. “You do care.”   
“You got them for me.”  
“You wear them,” smiled Edward. He helped Oswald up and to the bathroom, shooing the small penguins as they all immediately dived for Oswald’s broken foot.

“Thank you Edward,” Oswald relented, laying back on the couch.   
“I’m gonna get some food, I’ll get you something sweet,” Edward said. Oswald laid down, Gertrude jumping up on the couch next to his side and cuddling up to him. Edward came and laid next to Oswald, scooping up Gertrude. Edward wrapped an arm around Oswald’s shoulder and gave Oswald a bowl of ice cream. “Do you forgive me for our little argument before?”   
“I’m thinking about it,” Oswald said.   
“Am I allowed to stay in the house.” Oswald paused.  
“Sure.”  
“Sure? So grateful for all I do-”  
“Don’t push it Edward.”   
“Alright, alright.. Love you Oswald.”  
“Don’t push it Edward.”   
“Don’t push it? Don’t you love me too? Don’t make me break your other foot.”   
“Alright, alright.”  
“So are you gonna say it?”  
“Edward. Remember when I was the clingy one and you were all ‘eh no don’t be all lovely’ and-”  
“Well I want affection.”  
“You are so clingy and bossy and you’re a know-it-all and I love you.”  
“Thanks,” Edward said, rolling his eyes.   
“You’re too much like me with that rolling eyes thing.”  
“I did that first.”  
“No, I did that first,” Oswald said.  
“Alright I’ll admit that I didn’t do it first,” Edward began. “But I got it from Jon not you.”  
“Jon?”  
“Scarecrow.”  
“He wears a stupid potato sack on his head how are you supposed to know whether or not he rolls his eyes-”  
“Because he does-” Oswald put a spoonful of ice cream in Edward’s mouth.  
“Let’s just eat in peace.” Edward ate the ice cream.  
“Agreed.” 

When it was finally time for bed, Edward helped Oswald upstairs successfully and put some pillows under his broken foot. Edward laid next to him, trying to corral the penguins that kept wiggling across the bed and occasionally almost hitting his foot.   
“Gertrude! Thea, no stay here,” Edward said. “Fletcher!”   
“You know all their names,” Oswald said softly.   
“Well of course, I have a fantastic memory,” Edward said, then saying something else quieter before trying to catch Honor.   
“What was that?”   
“I have a fantastic memory,” Edward repeated.  
“The other part.”  
“Oh! And it’s important to you. So of course I memorized it.”   
“That’s… Sweet.”   
“Well I do these things,” Edward said.  
“Fine then.”  
“Fine then?”  
“You’re forgiven.”  
“For the argument or breaking your foot?”  
“You didn’t break my foot,” Oswald said, picking up a newspaper. “Did you… already solve all the crossword puzzles in this?” Oswald asked, looking at the green pen writing all across the newspaper.  
“Uhm.. Yes.”  
“Hm.”  
“Hm?”  
“I like to watch you do those.”   
“Well it’s gonna take a while for your foot to heal so we have a while,” Edward said. “You can watch me do it tomorrow.”  
“What do you mean take a while?”  
“Well it’ll take six to eight weeks to-”  
“Six to eight weeks!? Dammit Edward!”   
“That’s why I’m taking care of you!”  
“Edward.”  
“What?”  
“I’m mad at you again.”  
“Of course you are.” Edward paused. “I can still stay here though, right?”  
“Yes, you know that,” Oswald sighed. Edward turned off the light.  
“Goodnight Oswald.”  
“Goodnight Edward,” Oswald said, begrudgingly adding. “I love you.”  
“You could have said that nicer.”


End file.
